Kind of a vent. Kind of want someone to care.

My freakin' team man...
"Just try the med (again, and again, and again even if it makes you feel worse)."

Not even allowed benzos anymore (not like I'd even use them therapeutically PRN which I guess is why but idk why benzos are special when I get more f'ed up on half the stuff she does prescribe anyways).

I take the risperidone, I go mad(der). I take the trazodone (PRN) and nothing. I take the fancy sleep med, and practically get to a full blown psychotic dysphoric manic level in 30 minutes... med run comes and take my morning meds--literally just protonix, methylphenidate, and some vitamins--fall right to sleep for a couple hours, and then by 4pm I'm back to crazy. I take all my Depakote (ER version) at night.

And they keep saying to pretend the PRNs are scheduled, but I can't. This morning my CM said I was "very manic" after trying the fancy new sleep med night prior and the risperdal that morn' (yet again!) and sleeping 2 hours (having nightmares at that)

I don't really even know what I've been forthcoming about recently, mostly because I'm so freakin' out of it half the time I am either ignorant of wtf is happening/has happened or I don't realize it's relevant.

I'm trying. I swear. I'm not abusing street drugs for recreation, tomorrow will be a week since my last OD and that was to prove my immortality and that was all either OTC or stuff I was prescribed at one point, and I swear things are only getting WORSE! I've given up all my excess stuff.

The med person the other day said I might be having some autoimmune psych/neuro response to strep, but that keeps being dismissed by everyone else, and even though they did a culture that HAD STREP I'm having trouble actually getting someone that can do something give a shyt.

They’d better treat your strep! It can have bad consequences if left unchecked!

Sorry things are so difficult for you right now. Vent away, that's what this forum is for

Yeah. I've been having some concerning stuff happening but idk if it's from the last OD (which was excessive and to me is absolute proof I'm immortal) or strep.

We do care. Vent, vent here instead of oding.

Probably both. Ask them to treat your strep! It’s no joke.

I just had a physical but I felt like I was on fentanyl during it and just answered questions, usually nonverbally at that. They have the test from the ER (that didn't do shyt either because that wasn't why I was there).

I know, logically anyways. It's like in the moment, I'm possessed though. I'm beginning to legitimately think I am.

Im not sure why it can only happen to children, that doesnt make sense to me. Unless it happens in the growth plates, i think anything can happen.

What happens to children?

Every time I had strep I was immediately given antibiotics. Strep won’t go away without. My strep is always accompanied by high fever too. Awful. Did they not prescribe anything?

I had taken my last dose of antibiotics for something completely different three or four days before blood tests and a urinalysis (in the ER for something completely different).

I'm feeling so paranoid right now. Like, "make tonight's dose of meds last the rest of my life, dissolve the phone in acid, flee the state, find a place suitable to live off the grid and never look back" paranoid. I'm so ANGRY and feel so WRONGED by these... perpetrators pretending to help!

I was wondering that, too. My guess is that @unaluna was referring to something like PANDAS, which (I think) is autism triggered by strep.

"autoimmune psych/neuro response to strep"

Yes, @MuddyBoots, this sounds likely (I mean it -- I'm not being snarky).

Please insist on having your PCP prescribe an antibiotic and perhaps refer you to a neurologist.

I wouldn't put my general health in the hands of mental health practitioners.

The thing is that you typically need different antibiotics for different infections. So antibiotics you took might have treated something else. You need new ones for strep. If they refuse to prescribe, see your GP or just go to urgent care.

I was just at my PCPs on I think Wednesday or Thursday. I was still super out of it, and I don't think she even looked at any tests I did, just made sure the wound infections were gone. Idk though, don't remember it, just know I took Cephalexin in December and was back in the ER four days after I stopped it when they did the cultures.

My "PCP and the mental health people" are all at the same place--which probably isn't even a medical facility and just some scam to catch the whole link between "creative genius"" and "mental illness" and profit off of it to create a whole "Brave New World" scenario within the next 2.5 years. I don't even care at this point. If I have to deal with whatever destruction an infection is doing until I'm a festering blob of slobber, so be it. I have a plan for tomorrow but no one can know because they'll find out, and I can't have that. I'm afraid of urgent cares after we found out our local one was a load of bull too and it cost more to be told to go to the ER than to actually go to the ER (but I had United Healthcare then so...not like I didn't have the most corrupt health insurance out there that would lead to that situation).

Gosh, healthcare there is just an awful mess. I'm so sorry about that!

Sorry I didn't see this. Are you safe now.

Yeah, I didn’t do anything stupid so far. I’m supposed to meet my CM later and idk how that’s gonna go.

See your GP @MuddyBoots. Get treated for your strep.

When you see your case manager, make sure to inform them that you were diagnosed with strep and wasn’t prescribed antibiotics (not sure why and where is a disconnect, but address it ASAP). They should advise you how to get a prescription

My case manager was off yesterday. We went out to Dunk's, and she just went on and on about a building that burned down like 40 years ago and I just sat there half listening wondering why I ordered a frozen coffee (by the way, unless you like your coffee to taste sweeter than a donut, don't get any butter pecan syrup). At the end she's said she's frustrated with my future landlord, asked me if I had any concerns, I started to say something, and before I got a syllable out, she said, "well, I see you have better stuff to do, I'll head out, keep in touch if you need anything."

This morning I didn't go down to get meds so they called and asked where I was and I was so friggin angry I probably sounded like The Departed (TW for the link/not for young ears eta: fn hell I hate how they just automatically embed the video instead of going to the link Im sorry for that huge block of interruption and continuing that with this stupid pos parenthetical), and then they came out. I don't really remember crap, but I guess I'm back on AM community med run (I'm "not supposed to drive" now apparently) and calling at night when I take them until further notice. Nice.