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  #1  
Old Jun 06, 2025, 11:17 AM
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind Crypts_Of_The_Mind is offline
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Don't know that this matters, don't know if anyone even cares .. but here is a recent truth about me:

My heart used to be so full of love, even whilst in pain .. now it's full of hate, anger, and a deep desire for revenge on any wrong that's ever been done to me, no matter how small .. yet, I miss the person I once was - so full of love .. how do I get back to her?
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  #2  
Old Jun 06, 2025, 12:20 PM
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind Crypts_Of_The_Mind is offline
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Pretty well figured nobody cared. No worries. Just one more thing I have to figure out - alone.

Thanks - for nothing.
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  #3  
Old Jun 06, 2025, 12:54 PM
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Deejay14 Deejay14 is offline
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Crypts people do care. I care. I am here. I just got back from a morning at the doc for an infusion. Since you were last here there are far fewer people than there used to be. Help is not so instantly available as it was before. I sent you a post yesterday. Did you get it?
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True happiness comes not when we get rid of all our problems, but when we change our relationship to them, when we see our problems as a potential source of awakening, opportunities to practice patience and learn.~Richard Carlson
Thanks for this!
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  #4  
Old Jun 06, 2025, 01:08 PM
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unaluna unaluna is offline
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Sometimes people unknowingly revive old threads and i get all excited that someone is back but they really arent. So you might have fallen in that crack. Plus yeah a lot of the old friends have gone. Some of us are still here though and glad of your return.
Thanks for this!
LadyShadow
  #5  
Old Jun 06, 2025, 01:29 PM
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind Crypts_Of_The_Mind is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna View Post
Sometimes people unknowingly revive old threads and i get all excited that someone is back but they really arent. So you might have fallen in that crack. Plus yeah a lot of the old friends have gone. Some of us are still here though and glad of your return.
Not sure what this response is about, but thanks for responding
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Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away
  #6  
Old Jun 06, 2025, 01:29 PM
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind Crypts_Of_The_Mind is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Deejay14 View Post
Crypts people do care. I care. I am here. I just got back from a morning at the doc for an infusion. Since you were last here there are far fewer people than there used to be. Help is not so instantly available as it was before. I sent you a post yesterday. Did you get it?
I responded to it. Did you look at my response?
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Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away
  #7  
Old Jun 06, 2025, 01:48 PM
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Calla lily12 Calla lily12 is offline
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Crypts

I often feel the same way...that no one cares. Trust me when I say that I do care, as many others here do.Its very easy to feel like that and even harder to get out of that frame of mind. Its also hard not to feel bitter and angry about things that happened in the past. As hard as it is, I found to hold on to that anger only hurts you and you seem like too nice a person to be hurt by anger.
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  #8  
Old Jun 06, 2025, 06:27 PM
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind Crypts_Of_The_Mind is offline
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To all that may think to respond to this in future:

Know that an idea of how to resolve my original question is what would help me most, not admonishing me for having emotions you may not like to hear. This is (or I thought it was) the forum for coping with emotions - therefore, it's the one to go to (in my mind) when you are having emotions others may not like and don't know how to cope with them.

In case you "forgot", here is a copy of my original post:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind View Post
Don't know that this matters, don't know if anyone even cares .. but here is a recent truth about me:

My heart used to be so full of love, even whilst in pain .. now it's full of hate, anger, and a deep desire for revenge on any wrong that's ever been done to me, no matter how small .. yet, I miss the person I once was - so full of love .. how do I get back to her?
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Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away
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Discombobulated
  #9  
Old Jun 06, 2025, 06:34 PM
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind Crypts_Of_The_Mind is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Calla lily12 View Post
Crypts

I often feel the same way...that no one cares. Trust me when I say that I do care, as many others here do.Its very easy to feel like that and even harder to get out of that frame of mind. Its also hard not to feel bitter and angry about things that happened in the past. As hard as it is, I found to hold on to that anger only hurts you and you seem like too nice a person to be hurt by anger.
Thank you for your kind words.

It's not anger over past things, it's anger over present things. The things that originally landed me with depression, PTSD, anxiety, and borderline personality - I have forgiven long ago .. but the way my mind is right now, for whatever reason, even the smallest thing causes such anger and hate in me, I have no clue how to release it. The woman you have said is "nice" .. that's the woman I miss. Up until a few days ago, no matter how cruelly someone treated me, I could find a reason to live and forgive .. now it's the exact opposite and I don't know why or what to do about it.

I do know that when others tell me how I should or should not think or feel or respond, it just makes that hatred and anger grow stronger. I don't want it eating me up or controlling me, so I am trying to get in front of it in the early stages .. but, like I said, I don't know how .. that's why I asked the question I did
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  #10  
Old Jun 07, 2025, 07:36 AM
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Discombobulated Discombobulated is offline
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I care, I hope leaving hugs will give some small comfort. Feeling angry as you describe is in my experience a normal part of reaction to a situation where you feel you have little control, I don’t know if that makes sense.

Apologies for my limited reply, a lot going on in my family too at the moment.
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  #11  
Old Jun 07, 2025, 09:39 AM
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind Crypts_Of_The_Mind is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Discombobulated View Post
I care, I hope leaving hugs will give some small comfort. Feeling angry as you describe is in my experience a normal part of reaction to a situation where you feel you have little control, I don’t know if that makes sense.

Apologies for my limited reply, a lot going on in my family too at the moment.
Thank you. Yes, it makes sense. I appreciate the knowledge. Thanks again. ❤️
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Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away
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  #12  
Old Jun 07, 2025, 02:49 PM
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Calla lily12 Calla lily12 is offline
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Crypts, you have a right to feel any emotion that you feel. You're human. I don't know why or what happened but I'm trying to, at least "be here" for you to sit with you.
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  #13  
Old Jun 07, 2025, 06:59 PM
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind Crypts_Of_The_Mind is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Calla lily12 View Post
Crypts, you have a right to feel any emotion that you feel. You're human. I don't know why or what happened but I'm trying to, at least "be here" for you to sit with you.
That's much appreciated, thank you. ❤️
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Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away
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  #14  
Old Jun 15, 2025, 04:43 PM
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Revenge Tour Revenge Tour is offline
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I struggle with wanting revenge. That's why I chose this name when I signed up for this forum.

It's easy to let it consume you and I struggle with it daily. You are not alone.
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  #15  
Old Today, 07:15 AM
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Embracingtruth Embracingtruth is offline
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Emotion is a difficult battle we all have to engage in. Over time we might learn to separate ourselves and others from the truth of our circumstances and see things as they are, rather than how we want them to be. If something is bothering us we must first get to the core of the feeling and not just the exterior culprits that we point to first. I hope you find peace in your travels.
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