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#1
Jun 06, 2025, 11:17 AM
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Don't know that this matters, don't know if anyone even cares .. but here is a recent truth about me:
My heart used to be so full of love, even whilst in pain .. now it's full of hate, anger, and a deep desire for revenge on any wrong that's ever been done to me, no matter how small .. yet, I miss the person I once was - so full of love .. how do I get back to her?
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Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away |
 Calla lily12, davOD, Discombobulated, LadyShadow, MuddyBoots, unaluna
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#2
Jun 06, 2025, 12:20 PM
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Pretty well figured nobody cared. No worries. Just one more thing I have to figure out - alone.
Thanks - for nothing.
__________________
Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away |
| Calla lily12, Discombobulated, LadyShadow
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#3
Jun 06, 2025, 12:54 PM
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Crypts people do care. I care. I am here. I just got back from a morning at the doc for an infusion. Since you were last here there are far fewer people than there used to be. Help is not so instantly available as it was before. I sent you a post yesterday. Did you get it?
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True happiness comes not when we get rid of all our problems, but when we change our relationship to them, when we see our problems as a potential source of awakening, opportunities to practice patience and learn.~Richard Carlson |
 LadyShadow, unaluna
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#4
Jun 06, 2025, 01:08 PM
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Sometimes people unknowingly revive old threads and i get all excited that someone is back but they really arent. So you might have fallen in that crack. Plus yeah a lot of the old friends have gone. Some of us are still here though and glad of your return.
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| LadyShadow
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#5
Jun 06, 2025, 01:29 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away |
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#6
Jun 06, 2025, 01:29 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away |
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#7
Jun 06, 2025, 01:48 PM
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Crypts
I often feel the same way...that no one cares. Trust me when I say that I do care, as many others here do.Its very easy to feel like that and even harder to get out of that frame of mind. Its also hard not to feel bitter and angry about things that happened in the past. As hard as it is, I found to hold on to that anger only hurts you and you seem like too nice a person to be hurt by anger. 
__________________
Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.... |
| Crypts_Of_The_Mind, Discombobulated
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| Crypts_Of_The_Mind
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#8
Jun 06, 2025, 06:27 PM
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To all that may think to respond to this in future:
Know that an idea of how to resolve my original question is what would help me most, not admonishing me for having emotions you may not like to hear. This is (or I thought it was) the forum for coping with emotions - therefore, it's the one to go to (in my mind) when you are having emotions others may not like and don't know how to cope with them. In case you "forgot", here is a copy of my original post: Quote:
__________________
Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away |
| Discombobulated
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#9
Jun 06, 2025, 06:34 PM
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Quote:
It's not anger over past things, it's anger over present things. The things that originally landed me with depression, PTSD, anxiety, and borderline personality - I have forgiven long ago .. but the way my mind is right now, for whatever reason, even the smallest thing causes such anger and hate in me, I have no clue how to release it. The woman you have said is "nice" .. that's the woman I miss. Up until a few days ago, no matter how cruelly someone treated me, I could find a reason to live and forgive .. now it's the exact opposite and I don't know why or what to do about it. I do know that when others tell me how I should or should not think or feel or respond, it just makes that hatred and anger grow stronger. I don't want it eating me up or controlling me, so I am trying to get in front of it in the early stages .. but, like I said, I don't know how .. that's why I asked the question I did
__________________
Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away |
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#10
Jun 07, 2025, 07:36 AM
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I care, I hope leaving hugs will give some small comfort. Feeling angry as you describe is in my experience a normal part of reaction to a situation where you feel you have little control, I don’t know if that makes sense.
Apologies for my limited reply, a lot going on in my family too at the moment. |
| Crypts_Of_The_Mind
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| Crypts_Of_The_Mind
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#11
Jun 07, 2025, 09:39 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away |
| Discombobulated
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#12
Jun 07, 2025, 02:49 PM
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Crypts, you have a right to feel any emotion that you feel. You're human. I don't know why or what happened but I'm trying to, at least "be here" for you to sit with you.
__________________
Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.... |
| Crypts_Of_The_Mind, Discombobulated
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| Crypts_Of_The_Mind
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#13
Jun 07, 2025, 06:59 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away |
| Discombobulated, unaluna
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#14
Jun 15, 2025, 04:43 PM
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I struggle with wanting revenge. That's why I chose this name when I signed up for this forum.
It's easy to let it consume you and I struggle with it daily. You are not alone. |
| Crypts_Of_The_Mind, Discombobulated
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| Crypts_Of_The_Mind
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#15
Yesterday, 07:15 AM
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Emotion is a difficult battle we all have to engage in. Over time we might learn to separate ourselves and others from the truth of our circumstances and see things as they are, rather than how we want them to be. If something is bothering us we must first get to the core of the feeling and not just the exterior culprits that we point to first. I hope you find peace in your travels.
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