long time no post RL vs online life

I realize some are missing my informative posts. Missing my being here to support their journeys, answer their questions and or have gotten used to seeing my username and tidbits of my own path through dissociative disorders and are wondering where I have been this past year or two.

yes I even got the emails from close people from all the various sites I'm on, asking hey the forum was so active when you were here, please come back. was it something I said or did?

no, my lack of posting activity is not due to anyone or anything online. you know me I leave others triggers to them to take care of and I actively use the ignore or mute features when needed.

I don't expect everyone to like me, being mentally ill and or being on mental health forums is / has never been about the online popularity contests for me.

for me it's always been on where and when I can help others and also on helping myself to heal. not on taking care of others triggers around me or the topics I post about.

I'm here for me and to help those who want and need my help and leave the rest to take care of their own triggers.

nope lol I did not leave the dissociative forum boards due to anyone or anything here. so, dump that guilt trip if you have it, about yourself in regard to me in the trash ok. all is good, we're good lol on that topic.

In fact, I have visited the forums almost daily, checking messages and reading the boards and on rare occasion posting. I don't always log in or have my profile on visible. Sometimes a gal just doesn't feel like being seen or talk, and just wants to read, surf.

pull up a chair, here's the scoop-

when we all come here, we only see a snip it of each other's lives. online is not everything. and sometimes people have to prioritize off computer life before being there for others.

that's what's been going on. this past two years real life had to take priority.

Though "helping others does help oneself" is a saying I live by another saying also fits, - "before you can be there for others first be there for yourself."

this past 2 years has seen me through some major changes.

I won't go into details about them. the most recent two major issues were the hospitalizations and loss of my first born to PSA / heart attack and my younger sibling to a terminal disease, and other personal family losses,

there have been investigations, mortuary, urn selections, cremations, estate issues, funerals grief and more to navigate in real life.

I couldn't be here to help you all on your dissociative disorder journeys, questions and so forth when I was / am helping myself and my family navigate real life situations and resources.

lets put it this way -

being dissociative disordered is not fun and games like posting as alters, demons, imaginary characters or having the symptoms problems and behaviors you can find by way of googling, watching a you tube video, joining some website that professes to know all about dissociation and or a specific dissociative disorder.

there's the real and deeper "stuff" - the what's where's when's whys how's durations and more that you never hear about, much of it is restricted due to confidentiality and privacy laws.

in real life treatment providers tend to get all kinds of clients from those who really have the disorder to those who use media, aka the internet, books movies and so on and fit their self into specific disorders. we all know that already right.

well, the internet mirrors that too. the internet forums, groups, social media, generally speaking has more non diagnosed / self-diagnosed then they do the diagnosed. which is why many of us diagnosed folks struggle to fit in with online life.

those of us who have been diagnosed have a heck of a lot of symptoms, problems and behaviors on much deeper levels than what gets discussed on forums or social media.

so, we generally are here on forums to help others, support others as we navigate our way through with going directly through our treatment providers and real-life resources.

As we navigate through real life therapy, medications and real-life resources, we are able to give to others what we have learned, which helps others.

sometimes those of us helping others online are going through things that cannot be explained as we are learning and going through it, first we need to go through it then find ways to explain what we learned and our paths through it to others.

what I'm trying to say is that the dissociative "stuff" and graphic descriptions to explain what I'm dealing with in real life is not things that are generally posted about in forums, groups and social media.

in fact, it would probably get me into a lot of trouble for being so descriptive / too informative, on most if not all dissociative disorders forums, groups, social media and so forth that I have been on over the years including this one.

just know that I have not left / abandoned this forum board or the rest of the forums here and those trying to reach out to me in various ways. I'm still here

yes, I do have some dissociative posting / threads in the works. they are in my raw unedited not ready for public posting yet style. so, it's going to take time.

though you may not see my username as online I have not gone anywhere, and not one of you, wonderful people did anything to cause my lack of posting, real life has had to take priority. that's the scoop.

I am sorry for the losses you have experienced @amandalouise - a mother losing their child must be heart wrenching. Losing a sibling must be rough also.

I experienced the loss of parents and what you describe about all the things you have to do really describes the all-consuming activities of that period in my life.

All the best to you

CANDC

[If you want me to see your reply to this post please tag me by including @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message and not the first word of your message]

Amandalouise I'm sorry you've had so many losses.
I'm not sure what else to say cause I'm kind of confused by your post. I do hear your pain and how you struggle with dissociation.

I am so sorry for your losses. Sending you hugs and much love.