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Old Dec 14, 2025, 02:53 PM
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MuddyBoots MuddyBoots is offline
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I have a upsetting memory and I keep telling myself not real not real I’m twisting it I’m making it up but it doesn’t go away. I usually accept a lot of past traumatic memories fairly okay if with anger but I don’t normally deny it but this memory was a little younger and was at my Grandma’s who I loved and had nothing to do with my dad (and until I got out of high schoool all my trauma was my dad or his friends so maybe once I accepted an initial thing being traumatic it was easier but at my my Grams???)

How do I tell if it was real? It’s been haunting me for years now.
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Dx: PTSD, BPD, eating disorder of ever changing presentation, bipolar
Rx: Tegretol, Topamax, and tacos

On the other hand, you have different fingers

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Old Dec 14, 2025, 05:59 PM
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FooZe FooZe is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MuddyBoots View Post
I have a upsetting memory ...

... How do I tell if it was real?
It sounds as if what's real is that you have that memory; that it keeps coming up for you; that you (sometimes, at least) feel upset when it comes up for you; and that you'd like to be able to label something about it as "real" or not.

Is there anything that you'd do differently, depending on whether you were satisfied that the memory was (or wasn't) "real"? Or are you more interested in this question as a puzzle that doesn't have to have any real-world consequences?

Maybe it's just me, but this discussion reminds me of Chuang Tzu:"Was I a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or am I now a butterfly dreaming I am a man?"
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Old Dec 14, 2025, 06:14 PM
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MuddyBoots MuddyBoots is offline
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I don't know if I would do anything differently. I would probably give myself more grace for accepting as much abuse as I have because this (could've) happened even earlier in a place I actually thought of as a safe place. I feel like some puzzle pieces would fit. They would make a distressing picture, but it's not like them not put together isn't distressing either.
__________________
“⁠Can you understand? Someone, somewhere, can you understand me a little, love me a little?” — Sylvia Plath

Dx: PTSD, BPD, eating disorder of ever changing presentation, bipolar
Rx: Tegretol, Topamax, and tacos

On the other hand, you have different fingers
Thanks for this!
FooZe
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