Grief and loss all over the place.

I tried to post this to two different Facebook groups, where posts have to be approved by admins first, and both declined without telling me why. Both groups were geared to families with substance abuse issues, so I have no idea what the issue was. I hope it's OK to post here. I know the situation I'm describing is all over the map, but it concerns someone's unrealistic beliefs. I have to vent this, and I am desperately hoping for support.

PLEASE BE CAREFUL WITH THIS POST. IT CAN BE TRIGGERING.

I lost my 39-year-old daughter this past Christmas Eve to a narcotic overdose, and years ago, a two-month-old baby to SIDS. I have one child left, who I strongly suspect is using as well.

My living child (41, claims nonbinary, uses they/them) is obviously delusional. They insist that neighbors are harassing them by using ventriloquism to make it sound like voices are coming from inside their apartment. They also claim that neighbors have randomly walked by and dropped some kind of experimental substance onto their skin, hair, or clothes. My guess is, it's more likely they're using. I'm so afraid I'm going to lose them too.

My child was just now passionately arguing with me that our entire family is enrolled in some kind of multiple-generation race study. They are also convinced that we are descended from the Maldives (which could be true, I did have a DNA test done and showed a trace of West Asian) but then they are adamant that the Maldives is a landlocked nation within the borders of Nigeria. Claims to have met the King of Nigeria and "King Harmon of the Maldives" as a small child, at which point they learned conversational Nigerian in a day. (They have never been outside the US. Nigeria has been a federal republic since 1963 and doesn't have a king. There has never been a King Harmon of the Maldives. Also, there are several languages spoken in Nigeria, but English is the official, and I don't think there is any one language called "Nigerian.")

My child will not be persuaded that the Maldives is actually an archapelago off the coast of India. Thinks it's some big worldwide consipracy that all of the maps say it is. Also thinks it's a major massive gaslighting coverup that nobody in our family admits to ever being part of any such study. And thinks people are racist against them for being Black, which we are not.

I know it does no good to argue with people having delusions, but I am freaked out because it appears my last living child is on something. And I don't know what to do. They're 41 and don't live with me. I can't make them do anything.

Hi @Albatross2008 - I am sorry for the loss of one of your child. That must be heartbreaking for a mother to go through.

I do not know if your other child is doing recreational drugs and or have a psychotic break meaning they are losing touch with the reality most people agree on. I had someone like that and they finally got admitted to psych ward because they were a threat to themselves. They would not go voluntarily so they were forced to go inpatient.

I can relate to this. Living in their world is difficult but arguing does no good.

CANDC

[If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message and not the first word of your message]

I am really sorry you have been through such a pain
You seem a really good person and lovely mother just based on what you write

If it is not out of place or insensitive, i was wondering did some disorders took a bad direction in the pandemic era? It was quite a chaotic time for many people in the world and left lots of scars

I hope your child will find a support soon

Sending you a heartfelt hug

We had been texting back and forth almost nonstop since their sister died.

I haven't heard from them in 24 hours.

Would I be panicking or overreacting if I called for a welfare check?

I will if they don't respond to the text I just sent. @CANDC

They did. Thank God.

They had issues long before the pandemic, so I don't think there's a connection.

And thank you for the compliment. Sometimes I don't feel like a good mother.

sorry for the late reply @Albatross2008 - I am glad they responded. I would ask them if in the future theyl do not respond would it be okay to hlave tlhe local police do a wellness check. Some people really do not like that others do. I would ask[ and get their okay before doing in the future.

CANDC

OK, I'll do that.

I just had a long rambling e-mail from them expounding on all of this so-called "race study" that's going on. Now it's including their father's side of the family too, and these people are interviewing their dad as well as me, and apparently I've been terrorized into not admitting to being part of it.

Also, they were making reference to some family members of ours who were older and passed away several years ago of natural causes, saying instead that these "race study" people got to them. Nobody took these relatives' lives. It was their time. But my child is insisting that it's a different story. I wonder if they've been triggered by their sister's recent passing. I'm still reeling from that myself. It's only a matter of time before my living child starts saying these "race study" people took their sister's life too.

I'm going to show my therapist that email and the texts I've received, and ask if there is anything I can do.