Destined to be Poor

I'll do my best to not make this sound whiney, but it probably will. Please try not to take it as such though.

I have never had a financially stable life, from the time I was born up to this very second. Life is very difficult when you don't earn enough money to pay your bills but you spend 50+ hours a week working your butt off doing mostly physical labor. It makes for exhaustion and mostly negative views about life when you see everyone else getting to have fun and do things they enjoy because somehow they got lucky and got good jobs with seemingly no effort. I know that's not usually the case, and people went to college and all that was a struggle for them to get where they are, but I still see it as them being lucky, because I wasn't afforded the same opportunity.

I have never had the option to attend college because I've always had to work just to sleep indoors and have food. I am still in that situation, and only live in an old, small 5th wheel RV that I can't even use the bathroom in because there's no septic system. It grates on me to know that life could be so much more comfortable, but I'm barred from it and only get to see others having it nice. It really hurts to know I could have it better, but reality says f you, you're gonna suffer in squalor.

A lot of people have told me to shut up and do something about it, but what is there to do? I can't go to college, there's no time or money for it and I have no family left alive who can help me or let me stay with them. It's just me and the dog vs. the world. I could sure use some advice on how to get to a better place in life and stop living in complete poverty.

Sorry if I whined. Just want help and relief from the misery. Gotta get to work now, to earn some table scraps. TIA.

I am so very, very sorry you are in that situation and have been throughout your life. I am poor and it gets to me. So I can understand how that kind of thing can be a huge burden; a crushingly heavy burden.

Since I am poor myself, I am the last person on earth to offer you advice. The only thing that gets me through life is reminding myself that things could be worse. I could be living in a poor country, homeless and going through garbage dumps looking for food everyday.

If I can't get out of the "could be better but isn't better" frame of mind, life would be impossible for me. I have lots of post-its around my house on which is written: "could be worse but isn't worse, thank goodness." Don't know how I could handle poverty with this.

Hopefully people here will see your post and have helpful things to offer you instead of my poor, pathetic words. My heart goes out to you!!!

@Yaowen Your words are kind and compassionate! Hardly pathetic. Please don't beat yourself up, you took the time to reply to me and that means more to me than you might think. Sure being broke and having to go without any comforts is really awful, but one thing money can't buy is kindness from another person. It means even more when that person is seemingly a stranger who still wanted to reach out.

I like the idea of sticky notes with positive reinforcement on them, when I get back to the store or I can pilfer some from my boss's desk, I'm going to write myself several and put them around the RV. Thank you for the good idea .

I hope you have a blessed night and a great rest of your week!

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts and words. It means a lot to me. Thanks again for your kindness.

It’s easy for people to be dismissive or judgmental when they haven’t experienced something. We live in a blame the victim mindset in the US which I think is so soul crushing. We are supposed to be in total control of our lives and individual choices and responsibility are emphasized way too much.

I don’t have much to say except do what makes you feel good, gives you escapism. Even it’s something minor like a good book. Or noticing a pretty plant.

People suck. And lack empathy. Personally I think our system needs to be rebuilt from scratch as it is broken in so many ways.



———
Sent from my iPhone

I agree. @Yaowen I’ve come across your posts before and you are indeed kind.

———
Sent from my iPhone

Hello,

I want to express my empathy, as I find myself in a similar situation. It’s difficult to be creative and improve when you don’t have enough to eat or the mind is occupied with bills, and being alone often leaves no real escape.

I also didn’t attend university due to financial and health reasons, and I still carry that weight with me. I have problems going to work because of my autism. During a chaotic period in my life several years ago, I incurred significant debts, and I hope you haven't had to experience something similar.

I agree that some things cannot be bought with money. But they are needed not to think of them. I just wanted to say hello and remind you that you are not alone. We are still here, and that's something positive.

I hope your problems won’t weigh you down too much, and I wish you find peace in your life.

there was a time i had to choose between eating lunch or afforidng gas to drive to work to pay bills that didnt leave enough to buy food. our society blames what they call the undeserving poor in politics and its not fair. im sorry you are in this place in your life. it sucks. i was responsible for all my bills including food from age 16 on. im 38. it was haaaard and i still shop like i did. always buying the cheapest or only whats marked down at the grocery. some days it wasnt enough.

i say alll this to say im sorry youre suffering. is there a place like vocational rehab in your country like in the US? They helped me pay for some of my undergrad school and even a couple grad school courses this year. they also help people acquire training for higher paying jobs. maybe they could help you? I have the best and warmest wishes for better for you. to be honest i still live under the poverty line while im in school. and some days im jealous of people for not struggling the way i do.