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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,152
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#1
I got something yesterday that came with a stuffed dog, and my T is obsessed with dogs so I was thinking of giving it to her. Would that be ok?
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2022
Location: The House
Posts: 1,188
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#2
Professionals aren't supposed to accept gifts; however, that didn't stop me from giving a few gifts. The most I'd give now is a Christmas card. In my case, the relationship soured and I actually regretted it.
So my advice is not to give the dog to your therapist, or even mention it to her. Give it to charity, instead, if you don't want it. |
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 40,565
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#3
Once my t was travelling and i gave him a little dog to put in his briefcase like a telephone commercial that was running at the time. He SAID he did it. I dont really know, do i? It's really about what it means to us.
I was CONSTANTLY giving him stuff. I was like a dam cat bringing treasures. Then when i left i was like a cat escaping thru an open door. |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,589
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#4
I have given L multiple things one being a small stuffed animal. But L allows me to give her gifts. And all of my gifts have meanings. I don't simply gift her because I want to. I ordered a plant once and got a free one with it. I gave it to L to gift it to someone else (I didn't want to throw it away). It had no meaning for me, so it wasn't for her. I gave it to her to gift because I didn't know anyone to give it to.
I would talk to your T about gifting first, make sure she's okay with it. Some have a monetary limit. L does. __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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Member
Member Since Sep 2022
Location: Eire
Posts: 153
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#5
I never gave T anything only becuse any gifts I gave to my adoptive mother growing up were never "good enough"... But I saw other things clients had given her.. They were kept in the therapy room (upstairs on her house) ...I think that was her boundaries between her therapy life and her outside life
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,152
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#6
Yeah, not super worried about it souring our relationship or exceeding monetary value. I'm moving out of the zone they accept patients from in a few weeks, and it is half the size of a Beanie Baby that came as an attachment to something else. I'll wait until our last session and ask her I guess.
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2022
Location: The House
Posts: 1,188
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#7
Quote:
I am actually referring to the possibility that your T will sour the relationship (as my pdoc did by letting me down horribly) and then you might regret having been so nice to the T as to have given her a gift. |
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,152
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#8
Does that really matter if I'm never seeing her again after I give it to her in 3 or so weeks though? Or do you mean sour my OPINION of the relationship afterwards?
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2022
Location: The House
Posts: 1,188
2 804 hugs
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#9
Quote:
However, maybe your T won't tee you off and you'll be glad you gave her the gift. |
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,152
(SuperPoster!)
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#10
Is it bad to be pissed? I don’t think I’ll throw away any progress I’ve made because she didn’t appreciate a stuffed dog, but if it’s weird on her end I wouldn’t want to do it. Or if it’s a thing that a T doesn’t appreciate it and the client says “fck every discussions that happened in this room”
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 40,565
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#11
I think by the way you two have cancelled sessions on each other and survived it, that this would not be taken negatively.
Posters here may be speaking theoretically, or relating what happened to them and their t. |
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,152
(SuperPoster!)
3 5,850 hugs
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#12
That's a pretty good point. She's put up with sooo much of my bs and my CM says she speaks pretty highly of me anyways. I've put up with her cancelling 3/4 sessions in a row, and I still find a lot of meaning in our discussions and lessons.
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Member
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: Scotland
Posts: 178
3 11 hugs
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#13
Quote:
I remember giving a T a carefully chosen Christmas card, and the act of giving it was surprisingly emotionally laden to me. I think the T was oblivious to this, and that time I didn’t discuss such things in therapy. |
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 40,565
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13 67.9k hugs
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#14
I had that moment too! He kept trying to give the toy back to me, but it felt like i was reliving a moment with my mother who just never played with me.
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