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saturdayshenanigans
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Trig Feb 10, 2024 at 03:41 PM
  #1
Hi all,

Feeling really vulnerable typing all this up.. I'm unable to talk to anyone outside of my family about this as I guess I have a hard time being transparent with people on private matters. I'll get straight to the point; my brother has purposely closed himself off from the world for the last 4 years, staying in his room on a computer, only leaving to collect food our mum has prepared for him in the kitchen.. yet he demeans, disrespects, belittles her and picks on everything she does.. it breaks my heart because she's really such an amazing mum, she's got him all the mental health support he's needed, he's trans so she's done everything she could to support him through that journey and still nothing is good enough. She won't say anything or defend herself because
Possible trigger:
She shouldn't feel that way about her own son who is a fully grown adult now and he should know much better than to be so cruel and careless with his words.

It's important to note that my brother believes
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Last night my mum woke up at 4 am and she heard him talking to some stranger online who was saying extremely AWFUL things I won't get into what but it's all painting a very concerning picture and she's frightened of him and so am I. I'm frightened for her, for me, for my dad, for my dogs and my parents won't do anything but more importantly I'm not sure what they can do?? We're getting locks for our bedrooms. They're trying to find some assisted living solution for him so he can live separately from us where his needs might be better met but not sure what else anyone can do.. he can't stay this abusive character who doesn't work, doesn't help around the house, doesn't treat anyone with respect and expect unconditional love and support if he's going to make everyone who loves him feel petrified..

This post is mostly venting but I'm hopeful someone will offer something helpful or can share some similar experience they overcame to give me and my family faith. Thank you !

Last edited by bluekoi; Feb 10, 2024 at 08:07 PM.. Reason: Add trigger icon and code.
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Default Feb 10, 2024 at 08:48 PM
  #2
I am so sorry to hear this. Unfortunately (or fortunately in your case) I can relate.

I have a son that sounds very much like your brother. My son was intimidating, abusive, disrespectful, manipulating, etc. etc.

After every conceivable doctor, therapist, program, medicine, court (in some cases), etc. nothing worked. In fact I think it emboldened him to get even more brazen as time passed.

When he was 19 I said enough is enough and threw him out. He is having his struggles but this is the bed he made. He had a billion chances to get his act together and make things right but that simply did not interest him. He's my son and I love him but I have a wife and daughter to protect. He's 23-years-old now and he better start figuring things out on his own.

Should your family throw your brother out? That's a you decision. I simply wish you and your family the best. Nobody deserves this.
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Default Feb 11, 2024 at 07:20 AM
  #3
He sounds dangerous. Has he been diagnosed with any mental health conditions?

And yes, there is something you / your family can do, rather than enduring his abuse. S See the mental health act. An individual can be sectioned if he needs to be evaluated and/or is a danger to other people's (or his own) safety.

Check:Just a moment...
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Default Feb 11, 2024 at 07:22 AM
  #4
Could these be schizophrenic symptoms emerging with your brother?

The reclusiveness, and thinking he's hearing voices inciting him to commit violence are huge red flags.

The standard to force someone into treatment is usually a reasonable fear that they will do harm to themselves or others.

I think you're at a point that you can call 999 and report him.

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Default Feb 11, 2024 at 07:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Revenge Tour View Post
I am so sorry to hear this. Unfortunately (or fortunately in your case) I can relate.

I have a son that sounds very much like your brother. My son was intimidating, abusive, disrespectful, manipulating, etc. etc.

After every conceivable doctor, therapist, program, medicine, court (in some cases), etc. nothing worked. In fact I think it emboldened him to get even more brazen as time passed.

When he was 19 I said enough is enough and threw him out. He is having his struggles but this is the bed he made. He had a billion chances to get his act together and make things right but that simply did not interest him. He's my son and I love him but I have a wife and daughter to protect. He's 23-years-old now and he better start figuring things out on his own.

Should your family throw your brother out? That's a you decision. I simply wish you and your family the best. Nobody deserves this.
Thank you so much for sharing, I really value everything you said - I'm so sorry you've been through similar and I really hope one day your son sees how much you love him and figures it all out, just as I hope the same for my brother. Wishing you and your family well!
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Default Feb 12, 2024 at 12:33 AM
  #6
+1 to what RDMercer suggested. And to what Rive said, apparently the nearest relative can petition for sectioning. Read the United Kingdom portion of Involuntary commitment by country - Wikipedia and its references.

This has gone on for far too long. You need to take action.

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