Broke trust of suicidal friend, unsure if I should reach out

Hello all,

I've been stuck thinking about a situation with an online friend on Discord, I'll call him Noah (not his actual name) for the sake of making it easier to describe. Noah is suicidal (in fact has tried multiple times) and opened up to me about his depression, substance abuse, and one day showed me a photo of self harm.

When he sent me that photo I genuinely didn't know how to react, so I went to ask another friend (I'll call him Eli) who I've been talking to about Noah, and thats when I took a screenshot of my chat with Noah and accidentally sent it back to Noah, instead of to Eli. Completely broke his trust and I really had no appetite and I was really in a state of shutting down for about 4 days after I did that, but the strange thing is that he hasn't unfriended me since, or removed me from his close friends server, it's been about 2 weeks since the incident.

After the incident I looked back on my conversation with Eli and realized that he was kinda only there for the drama in a way, I didn't see the red flags while in the situation. He was manipulative, dismissive, threw around slurs in the same sentences while talking about serious mental health topics, claimed he helped "multiple people" through things like this (he's 15) and acted like he knew everything kinda. Not sure how he convinced me sending stuff to him was okay either. The MOST concerning thing is Eli straight up told Noah he didn't need any rehab or therapy. Directly to him, when he most definitely does (addicted to multiple different substances, and would probably die if he stopped cold turkey) I'll list them out with a trigger.



Ive been carrying a lot of guilt about the situation, like whether or not I traumatized him or made things worse. Part of me wants to reach back out but I'm afraid it might come across as me defending myself, selfish or re opening his wounds again. If anything I'd like to at least tell Noah he does actually need help and he deserves it, and I don't except a reply, I'd probably just feel more at peace knowing I sent smth and he read it. I'm just really not sure what the best thing would be to do now. If anyone has any advice or has been in a similar situation, Id greatly appreciate it.

Thank you so much for reading.

Tough situation...think you definitely learned not to share others situations with other people & just handle it quietly on your own. The "Noah" guy definitely needs professional help but you can't force it on him especially since you are in an online situation.

Personally, I would just reach out with something like "just checking in to see how you are doing". That opens the door for him to respond of he chooses to & puts the ball in his court. About all that can be done at this point

If Noah has made several attempts and is using class 1 drugs, I'm sure he is drawing more attention to himself than just you. What makes you think you are the one to help him? You mention Eli's age, but not yours or Noah's. Maybe this is above your pay grade?
I'll share a situation which occurred with me. After moving away from my home town, I returned for a family reunion. I hadn't seen my younger brother for a few years, but I talked to him occasionally. He is married with two young teen aged girls. When I saw him I almost
didn't recognize him. He looked to weigh under 170lbs. His previous weight was an athletic 220lbs. He had stitches in his head. His girls were sporting piercings and tattoos. He had been fired from his job. I said "what's up?" He gave me a bunch of lies. I told him, I'm going
to get you the help you need and I only ask one favor. Don't lie to me again. And of course the next words out of his mouth were lies. What really hurt me was his girls were my mother's grandchildren, and the entire family was looking away from what was before them.
I went back home and called his city's social services. I said "he is on heroin, his wife is using heroin, drug dealers are in and out of his household and he has two young teen daughters." They said "we got it, and you are now out of the picture." They kicked down his door
and put his kids in foster care. They got him the help he needed. I buried him in March after his 20th anniversary of being clean and sober. I wasn't in a position to help him directly, but I knew who to call.

I think your own idea is good. Tell Noah he needs help and deserves help. Mention that you do not expect a reply but would be overjoyed if Noah reached out to you some day. Keep it brief and simple.

I'm 18 and Noah is 21. And yes I definitely wouldn't be able to heal him, I just wanted to show him comfort, because I genuinely felt bad for him. He looks almost perfect from the outside, he's an actual genius with IT/computer related stuff (he has a goal of making his whole own OS after tinkering with linux for years), and he got a job in the field making a ton of money, I won't mention what else he owns to keep anyone from connecting this post to him but he has basically what a 21 year old could only dream of (beautiful car too). It just sucks he's so broken on the inside, I didn't tend to give him advice I just listened mostly, but I guess it is my fault for telling him that he can talk to me about anything.

I would love to contact the proper authorities, but I only know he lives in Europe. I'm not even sure what country he's from. I couldn't really do anything if I tried

Today marks the exact two week mark, if I build up the courage to check in on him I'll send a short message most likely