What's the point of psychiatry at this point for me?

Why do I see a psychiatrist (and therapist for that matter) when I could just go to a PCP who is equally as capable to send in prescriptions? It's not like it's hard fking science where you have to look at a bunch of lab values and images and specializing in that practice makes the difference between life and death.

My pdoc literally just writes scripts, orders labs (probably doesn't even look at them when they come back), and calls the police every now and then. A PCP can do the first two, and my neighbor can do the last one.

It's not like it takes a genius to figure out which meds to take anyways. Just so much patience that it's practically a flaw.

Yeah my pcp's have been VERY reluctant to write scrips for my psych meds. They want a letter from the pdoc. I think ONCE i lowered the dose on my prozac. And thats over prolly ten years now.

Stupid. Do they want an infectious disease specialist to ok an antibiotic too?

I know it seems pointless right now, but yes you do need the level of care you are getting. Though you probably don’t see it as care. Believe me in my darkness days( and nights) I pushed back against care because deep down I didn’t believe I was worth it or deserved to get better. I quit several times going cold turkey and having seizures from the cold turkey. All that did though was cause my stability to be postponed. It took until I was in my 40’s to start having a quality of life. Can’t say exactly what changed. Just one day the therapy I’d had started to make sense. Then it sort of all came together. My life didn’t fall apart until I was 29, so a good 15 years of homelessness and revolving hospital doors and that probably could have been shorter if I’d not given up so many times. It’s hard. Hang in there

No. I don't see it as care. How is "you had anemia before and you're tired now, so you might be anemic again," and "I don't know what to do for you, and you don't know what I can do for you, so I'm not going to do a nything," and "you tell me what meds will work," something you need to specialize in psych to be able to say?

I don't even call their emergency line anymore because although 1/30 times they help, the rest they either piss me off more, don't call back (probably most common), or make me go to the hospital. Me being in treatment is just for show. It's just a "hey, I'm doing this thing that's going to make me better," but for all I know that thing is why I feel so trapped and hopeless.

I literally do not even know what they are supposed to do or what I'm supposed to do with each of them. I mean, I sign ROIs for the hospital and local PD and "treatment plans" that just say "will take meds, abstain from substances, and use healthy coping strategies 2x a week" with my CM. Who knew playing a guitar on Tuesdays at 11am, going to the lake on Fridays at 5pm, and not slamming meth cures bipolar?

Therapy later, and I hate to be this pessimistic but if I think it's going to help and it doesn't I'm going to come home and seriously hurt myself. I've probably only been "doing okay" behavior wise the past few months because I don't do shyt in therapy or expect anything good from my team anymore and cancel half the appointments they don't.

edit: Ha!!!!! That was PERFECT timing. She just called and cancelled love ittttttt