Did this therapist blow me off during our first session?

I had a hard time finding anyone to call me back or who accept my insurance who are also taking new clients too.

This lady who specializes in anxiety & depression did an intake with me today on zoom.

Things were fine at first. I mostly talked to her. She suggested TMS therapy for my treatment resistant depression that she doesn’t do.

I may have overwhelmed her. Idk. Her mouth was open a few times but I did make her laugh a few times too after I told her about my family & my crazy MIL.

Near the end of our session, she said that she was going to be late & that she had to go.

I was taken aback as she didn’t even bother setting up the next appointment. I asked her when can we meet again & she said unconvincingly that she’ll need to think about it.

I asked her if I could contact her soon & she said to ask Rula, this app. Wth?

I had the strong feeling that she doesn’t want to help me. Why? Was it because I mentioned that I femt most of my past therapist ls didn’t seem to take me seriously & that the last student therapist ls abandoned ne?

Do therapists deliverately avoid working with certain clients, Do they try to get the easiest & less messed up people to work with as clients?

Is it typical of therapist ls to think about accepting a client or not? Why would she have to think about things?

It's hard. Yes, private therapists get to pick and choose. Some like I guess "easy" clients, whatever that actually means to them. Others like "challenging". I would hope that most just base it on rapport and whether they believe they can be effective. If this therapist decides she doesn't want to work with you for whatever reason, look at is as a blessing. Least she won't lead you on to believe she can help if she really cannot. If she does decide to work with you and you still like her, then hopefully it's a good match and you get the help you deserve.

Yes.. My T had turned people away she fekt she couldn't work with.. To take someone on that you don't feel is right for you it's a disservice to the client

I’m no expert but I would have thought she should have made it clear at the beginning if your first appointment was an assessment and what to expect from that? If she doesn’t feel she’s the best therapist for you then exactly what you should do next. I’ve heard before that it’s usual to recommend therapists who are skilled in different areas.

That sucks. I do believe that she probably wanted an easier client.

She actually rejected me with a generic message on Rula. I wasn’t given a reason to why I was rejected.

I might’ve overwhelmed her by telling her about to many problems. I might’ve caused her to think that I am a lost cause as I’ve seen lots of therapist ls for half of my life.

I mentioned being on a lot of anti depressants & that nothing really worked for me. I mentioned that I probably have treatment resistant depression.

Do therapists tend to reject clients who have treatment resistant depression?

She rejected me & she didn’t even give me a referral. She is so rude. She didn’t have the guts to tell me in our zoom meeting that I’d be better off with someone else.

She couldn’t wait to get rid of me. She didn’t even bother saying goodbye & that it was nice to meet me. She abruptly said that she had to go as she was running late.

Why would she respond to me so rudely?

Isn’t that rude? She could’ve wrapped things up more smoothly. I should complain about her.

She sucks. She had bo idea what to tell me. She just let me vent. I made the mistake about telling her to much at once.

I was honest about my issues & gow I probably have treatment resistant depression. I mentioned that I have been on lots of different medications that didn’t help me too & that I went to a lot of therapist ls before as well.

I didn’t deserve to be rudely brushed off during the zoom meeting. She shouldn’t be a therapist as she rudely said that she had to go. She didn’t day bye or that it was nice talking to me

She obviously couldn’t wait to get rid of me immediately after I talked to her.

I don’t think that she was even with me for the full hour.

Why would she react like that to me? I feel so hurt & rejected.

Is she was rude and rejecting than you've had a lucky escape..

I don’t understand it either. I think lots of therapists are very bad and should not be in that profession. My partner has gone to several different therapists and they never click with him. The last one told him he didn’t need any help and ate a banana during a session. Hope you can find a good fit soon.

I agree both that she should not have treated you so dismissively and that you also likely dodged a bullet.

If she didn't think she could help you--like if she's more skilled in other areas, like anxiety--then she should have simply told you that AND given you a few referrals. I do think it would have been wrong for her to take you on if she didn't think she could help. It may not be that she doesn't want clients who aren't "easy." For example, I asked a former therapist, out of curiosity, if he ever turned away clients. He said that if one came to him whose primary concern was an eating disorder, he'd refer them out because he doesn't have expertise in that area. Which I think is the responsible thing to do.

I wish at times my current therapist had told me from the beginning that he wasn't skilled in dealing with transference and client attachment (he knew about this from the start because I was consulting with him due to an experience with a previous therapist), It would have saved me a lot of distress if I'd just switched to someone else right away. We've worked our way through it, but it's been a very bumpy, painful road at times.

I hope you can find someone who can help.

Maybe this is the key thing here jesyka, when she said I mean, I would've heard that part loud and clear.

I kind of think as mote of soul here. She recommended type of therapy that she doesn’t do. Maybe that was her way to show that she can’t treat you. Not sure she had to give a referral if she wasn’t really your therapist.

She had to be more clear and precise in what she can and cannot do though. Sounds flaky.

You didn’t do anything wrong. You were upfront and honest and there is a therapist out there who will appreciate that and be happy and able to work with you.
I am sorry that you felt so rejected. She could have handled it better if she did not feel like she was a good match for you.
I overwhelmed my therapist too on my first meeting but she felt able to help me. It is not a reflection on you that this therapist does not.

Thanks. She was rude. It was so obvious that she was trying to get rid of me immediately.

That’s true. Wow, the last therapist is rude & unprofessional. It seems mike some of them don’t care about the clients. It’s all about the money for them.

You’re right about what you said. However, I didn’t appreciate the very abrupt way that ahe suddenly had to go.

It was bizarre. There was no I have to go soon. Just, I gave to go as she was late for her next appointment. Wth?

I can understand her not being able to help me, but she didn’t bother referring me to anyone. She sucks & she shouldn’t be a therapist.

Perhaps that explains a few things.

She definitely wasn’t a good therapist. She didn’t bother asking me any questions & she didn’t talk about what she does or what treatment she offers. Weird!

Thanks. I had a feeling that she wasn’t the one for me as she asked me zero questions.

Anyways, I have an appointment this week with a new lady. I chose her since she listed in her profile that she’s non judgmental & that she said that everyone is an individual.

Yeah, maybe. But you're right, there is a sense of unprofessionalism and a carelessness in that interaction you described. Anyway, I hope you find a good one next time.

Good luck with the new therapist!

Good luck! Let us know how it goes ❤️

Thanks. She definitely was rude & unprofessional. I found a better nicer therapist today. I’m mostly stuck to facts & asking her questions & answering her questions too.

I’ll see her next week. In her profile it said that she’s non judgmental. Let’s hope that’s true.

Thanks. Will do.

This has happened to me before too. This probably isn’t the best advice, but I always try to pick and choose what I tell any new therapist I see in the first session, in order to let them get to know me first and for us to build rapport. For me, it worked out with my current therapist. I think it helped her conceptualize my issues easier and be more empathetic towards me. I’m not advising holding anything back or hiding anything, but it just so happened to work out for me to gradually share as trust built over time.