Couch 252: Kitties and Hawks

Welcome to the couch, old and new! A place to hang out - sometimes you get immediate feedback, sometimes you don't.

Shouting, "Cool Whip" tends to bring others out from between the cushions if you're feeling lonely.

This is a chatty thread. All are welcome. We're kind of psychologically oriented, sometimes. We try to be supportive. At times we discuss what that means.

It’s a place to plop down on the couch when you come home from work or wherever, or wake up in the middle of the night, or check in at lunch, rant a bit or not, and be among friends.

We advise you not to drink or drug and text your therapist ("T") - we speak from experience.

Sometimes the thread moves fast and you might get overlooked; sometimes it moves slowly and all you hear are crickets. Sometimes you get hugged or thanked pages later. So if it's a bigger question, you might want to start a new thread.

Grab a cushion, a spot on the floor, or an armchair in the corner and make yourselves comfy.

Because 252 is the telephone area code for Kitty Hawk, North Carolina. But also for everyone's kitties, and the bald eaglets hatching on the interwebs.

Thanks for the new couch!

Nice! I remember a time when I was in my early 30s and at a concert. A guy seemed to be hitting on me, then asked my age. He was like, "Oh, I didn't realize you were *that* old!" I think he was like 22? (He had a wristband, so at least 21!)

I really love that 'Couch lore' has become a tradition.

I didn't expect to continue seeing the whys and wherefores of particular couch numbers after so long.

Thanks, Lost. I totally identify with the Cheers character mailman Cliff Clavin, always full of nonsense trivia. Mine is abetted by google, TBH, but some of it is my own!

Nice muscles not on steroid muscles are good muscles.

I just saw someone post in a group I’m in on Facebook that said they are taking themselves out on a date. What constitutes taking yourself out on date. Like if I go shopping and then stop for some takeout-does that mean I took myself out on a date? Because I never called it that. That’s what this person said they were doing. This person said “I’m taking myself out on a date to go shopping and get food after”. I do that all the time but never called it taking myself on a date. I’m not judging the person I’m just curious what the difference is. You know?

Jersey, google "artist's date". Its a thing, or it was, 30-40 years ago. You kids!

I’m off work today because I am working on Saturday. I simply won’t work more than 5 days a week so if you want me on Saturday then you gotta give me another day off during the week so I made it a 3 day weekend since I’ll only have a one day weekend this coming weekend.

I was looking for an old photo from work. Scrolling through my old photos is like the walk down memory lane from hell. They say the photos people post on social media are not an accurate representation of someone's life. I took photos and videos of some of the really awful days. Even the good photos of him or us stir up really bad memories for me. I can't bring myself to delete them though. Nothing would be left.

Hugs, if wanted, NP. That sounds really difficult. Could you maybe put some of those photos in a more difficult-to-access place? If they're on the camera roll of your phone, that is. Then, you'd still have them, but wouldn't come across them by accident.

Great point, LT.

It can be helpful to put these things out of the way, so to speak.

Today has been a Day over here...my wider support system is in flux again. Nothing is official yet, but I have a sense that the writing is on the wall.

One of the things about receiving physical support is the level of trust that is required, and the extra attachment that can develop quickly.

When I begin to trust them with other things and they choose to (or have to) move on...it is rough.

Well, apparently, D is celebrating the 5-year anniversary of the Covid pandemic by...getting Covid. She just tested positive (we figured was allergies, but she asked to test). Sigh...I'm negative and symptomless for now, at least.

Oh, no....

I'm so sorry LT.
Pretty astute of her to ask you to do the test, though.
Better to know than not.

Sending hugs, if wanted.

I hope you don't get it.

Thanks, Lost--I appreciate the wishes!

I suppose the positive is that we realized this before she saw H's high-risk mother this weekend. Also, apparently she can return to school Monday as long as she doesn't have a fever for 24 hours (she doesn't currently have one).

LT sorry she has Covid but glad she can return to school by Monday. I know you mentioned that it is difficult when she is thrown off her regular routine.

Dressing up. Putting more though into your make up?

Dancing along to "I'm here" from the colour purple broadway show . "I don't need you to love me."

Don't think there is a real difference though.

Hopefully, D will be able to rest up and recover quickly. It’s good to hear that you’re negative and symptom-free for now, though!

Keeping your distance and staying on top of things will definitely help.

How’s she feeling so far?

I’m sorry you’re having to go through that right now. It must be draining to relive those moments, especially when the good ones feel tainted by the bad.

I agree with LT and putting them somewhere, you don't have to face them in sight daily for now. You can decide later. What about just putting them all in a folder within a folder if they're digital?

It’s totally normal to feel hurt, betrayed, or frustrated when support changes. Sometimes, allowing yourself to feel and process those emotions without judgment can help you move through the rough patches.

While this situation is painful, it might also be an opportunity to reflect on what you learned from this person.

Allow yourself time to process and move through this transition slowly.

I went to see the movie Flow this week. I really do not get all the hype about it and only saw it because I was traveling with a friend who wanted to see it. Not my kind of movie at all. I am much more of a comedy - mockumentary sort.

I just had to google Flow. I have not heard of it until now. Doesn’t seem like something I would be into either.

It's not my cup of tea having seen parts of the trailer. I expected the cat version of Watership down.

I have a free consultation with a new therapist this afternoon. I'm feeling pretty anxious about it and it's making me acutely sad about missing P. I'm feeling stubborn like I don't want to allow anyone else in.

I have all my photos stored on Google. I don't think there's a way to segregate photos. You can put them in albums, but they're still in the main list. Even if I did that, I would have no photos. I mean that quite literally. When your life is tangled up with someone else, even pictures that don't specifically involve him, remind me of him in some way or another. Like the beach photos I mentioned. Or the photos from the day I went to the Chinese garden with a friend where the night before he was feeling some kind of way about it and did his damndest to keep me awake all night so I'd be too tired to go by repeatedly leaving our oven on broil with the door open so the smoke detector would go off, among other things.

Wishing you courage as you meet with the new therapist, NP.