I give up on God

You know what I've heard a million times - you can't be mad at God and not believe in Him.
I’m sorry you’re having a rough go of things. I promise you, He is there and He loves you immeasurably.
I am praying for you and hope things get better.

Thanks s so much, @Violetine. I appreciate it.

My belief in God has been hurting me though. Three months ago, I started praying for God to save me from my misery at work, I went through a month-long interview process, and in the end, didn't get the job offer, and neither did the other candidate. I am stuck suffering immensely in my job, working under two abusive personalities and have been for 2.5 years, but God is not answering my prayer to be saved from the abuse and bullying.

When I prayed to God years ago for a man to marry, the very next man I met wanted to marry me, and I thought God had answered my prayers. This man turned out to be an abusive narcissist, who caused me immense harm.

God also allowed my abusive ex husband to move within a quarter of a mile from me for a whole year, taking away all of my newfound happiness and freedom I had found after our divorce. God allowed this to happen, after I had already been abused for four years by my ex.

And when I've prayed to God to give me a good job, one that I will be happy in, he gives me a job where I am bullied and abused? When I've already been bullied and abused in several jobs?

How can I not be angry at God and how can I not feel he has failed me? How can I believe that God loves me and is protecting me, because whenever I pray for something I get the opposite of what I'm praying for?

My belief in God is harming me... It's incredibly difficult to not think this way?

It is an incredibly human thing to think God has failed you or doesn’t care. I’ve been there myself. It is so hard to be persistent in prayer and trusting Him through hardship. One of the most influential things is finding community and people who will pray with and for you. This might not be helpful advice for you, and I’m sorry if it isn’t. But please know that God loves you, and I will send up prayers for you.

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Why should anyone have to believe in God to receive the benefits? Is God insecure? Why are all Gods jealous Gods? What have they to be jealous of?
Belief in God is rooted in fear and not reason. Religion's biggest selling point is everlasting life. It is an appeal to your fear of death. It's an assertion without evidence. Wait until you are 80 to decide if you
want to live forever. You won't.

My fear of God is greater than my concern that he doesn't exist or than I can exist without him, I do believe.

@Violetine, thank you again - it is definitely sooo hard. One thing I am lacking is a spiritual community. I don't like church - I don't like singing hymns. A community sounds appealing though, in a way. At least I wouldn't feel so alone.

Those who peddle religion for a living know this very well. It is why they are pro life. The more who are born to live in fear of death, the closer they are to having their own private jet.

I believe like you.
But last year I started watching Christian TV and Joyce Meyer makes a lot of sense. She went thru hell being abused and she understands what the Bible is saying very well. She understands how to treat people especially people you don't care for or who have done you wrong.
I'm still an unbeliever. Like I had a friend who said the devil wants you to die. And I certainly don't believe in the devil.

I understand how you look at God @Have Hope - I used to curse God so much for making me so fat and ugly and undesirable - until I found a loving spiritual community through my church. I know you said you don't like church, but there are a lot of spiritual groups that you could research, or maybe find in your area, that aren't as strict with hymns or the things you don't like.

I will pray for you - I fight with my faith a lot and feel like God has punished me for all the bad things that I've done that's why I am in the mess I am in now. But that's a belief that I have to let go of. I don't know if you've seen it, but the movie "the Shack" is a great movie that addresses this. The guy in it is so upset at God because God allowed his child to die, he feels God is a sham a lie, and feels no faith or anything anymore till God calls him - it's a powerful story.

I didn't understand why God put me through what he did, why he allowed me to suffer in jail, or suffer in homelessness and I didn't understand at the time the bigger picture he had for me. When I was trapped with a schizophrenic drug addict husband, I thought I would never get out, and I pleaded with God as to why he chose to punish me that way.

God loves you too, it's very hard to see it now, I know, extremely hard, but I have faith that something favorable will come in your path soon.

I have been abused off and on all of my life. I don't understand WHY God is continuing to allow this to happen, over and over and over again. And I'm not saying I don't play a part in it - I have chosen the wrong partners, and have overlooked red flags. But jobs? I have little choice over which companies decide to hire me, and I've had little choice when needing a job. I've had to take jobs because I needed a job and that was it. I keep being abused in work environments too, including in my current one. I just got out of an abusive marriage! The least God could do is give me a happy work environment so I can be healthy and happy again. But nooooooo... God gave me yet another work environment where I am being abused by not just ONE boss, but TWO bosses.... so WHY does God allow this to happen? This is why I feel or have been feeling that God is cruel to me.

God may love me, with that love in my opinion, comes his cruelty. I am made to suffer endlessly in my life to the point of wanting to kill myself, and God allows my suffering to continue, DESPITE all my repeated prayers for happiness, love, and inner peace. I give up.

I specifically asked God to save me from the bullying, abuse, and misery I experience at work.

I prayed constantly, asking to be saved and to be taken out of my toxic work environment.

Instead, I received a job rejection, and I am forced to deal with the misery and continue to suffer.

This is also why I am now believing that God is cruel to me. He didn't answer my prayers, and I am stuck, suffering immensely and am in so much emotional pain and anguish over it.

I stay in bed and I can't get off my couch. I am depressed, I am emotionally eating and drinking. It is NOT OK.

So, God prefers to see me suffer than to actually help me when I ask.

Why should I continue believing in God, when I am suffering SO MUCH under my boss's evil thumb?

I left an extremely toxic and abusive marriage, to only next enter into a toxic and abusive work environment.

HOW can I believe God is in fact protecting me and looking out for my best interests?

I feel like God and his Angels set up these situations and place me deliberately in them to force my soul to grow. And that is NOT OK. WhY should I be made to continue to suffer endlessly like this, from one situation to the next?

I don't agree with it, it;s NOT OK to me, and it;'s sheer CRUELTY.

I feel like I am in the movie, the Hunger Games, with God and the Angels moving the pieces of my life deliberately setting me up in these awful situations that make me suffer, cry, be depressed, and want to kill myself.

How can I continue to believe that God is good? And a loving God?

There is an alternative to the love - hate relationship with god. Christopher HItchens wrote a book titled "God is not Great. How Religion Poison's Everything!"

Intellectuals and scholars such as Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawking have said the survival of the human species may be dependent on its ability to move beyond religious beliefs.
Albert Einstein was a "religious non-believer".
It's a daunting task to assume responsibility for yourself, but you may actually benefit more than waiting for help from an un-answering god. On the other hand, I should point out that Christopher Hitchens died of throat cancer in 2011.
So if you are dead set on living forever, god is your only hope. As for the rest of us, no one gets out of here alive.

Thank you so much @forestx5 for your post and thoughts. I just don't know at this stage. I'm now torn between having understanding and being angry. I want to believe that God has better things in store for me. Maybe I'm supposed to learn something valuable through my struggles that I am missing. Maybe there's a point to all of it that God sees and knows, and I do not. I really want to continue believing in God, I just have become so disillusioned under my current and ongoing struggles.

My older brother was a born again christian. He chose that path in his early 20s. He became a family man, dedicated husband and father. Of course, I knew him before he earned his wings. We grew up poor on the wrong side of the tracks. A lot of young men never made it out of our neighborhood due to alcohol, drugs, or violence. Brother continued to get better with age, but when his health began to fail his faith led him to acceptance. That was a mistake. He didn't insist on the best of care and he didn't get it. My younger brother and I agree that if he wasn't so sure of his place in heaven, he might still be here for his children and his 9 grandchildren. None the less, he was a good man and he is missed by his wife, children, grandchildren, and extended family.

Wow @forestx5, that's quite the story!! So, if he hadn't accepted his fate as he believed God intended, in your view, he could have lived longer?

Maybe we misunderstand God's intentions. I believe I do. I don't read the Bible and I don't go to Church. I see passages online that I do read from time to time. I am starting to think I must misunderstand God. Maybe your brother misunderstod him too.

He didn't fight very hard for his life, because he believed he had a better life just around the bend. One that would put a gold crown on his head.

That's really unfortunate that he felt that way. He could have fought to live longer. Facing death does strange and interesting things to people though.

I have been wanting death lately. Life has beaten me down more times than I can count and I am downright tired. A very small part of me still has a tiny sliver of hope that things can get better.

Update: I am praying again to God and I believe again. I can't give up hope. And I can't give up my faith. I think I misunderstood God, which is easy to do I do think. I misunderstood because I don't read the Bible or go to Church. I plan to buy a book that helps interpret God's Word in the Bible. I found it online. This should help me a great deal.

If there is a god, they never gave a 🤬 about me...

Therefore, they know what they can go do with themselves!

And that's all I have to say about that...

Much has been said about religion and morality. Many in religious hierarchy insist that morality would not exist if it were not for religion. Others suggest religion has no claim on morality.
"One of the great tragedies of mankind is that morality has been hijacked by religion... the basis of morality is really very simple and doesn't require religion at all." Arthur C. Clarke
"Morality is doing right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right". H.L. Mencken
"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction," Blaise Pascal.
"Morality does not require religion as its foundation because it is based on the concept of humans as free agents who bind themselves to unconditional laws through their own reason." Immanuel Kant. Quite a few politicians infer their morality based on the religion they wear on their lapels. Don't believe it.
Religious nationalism has been a bane on world peace. I personally believe religion was meant to provide a code by which to live in community with others who share similar beliefs. But it is wrong for religions to suggest persecution of those who do not share those beliefs.
It becomes a threat to freedom when religion becomes a political movement. Jerry Falwell was a reasonable guy when he was preaching the gospel, but he caused a lot of harm when he
blamed 9/11 on US tolerance of homosexuality. (See religious nationalism.)

I learned morality through church and my parents. I think religion has been central to teaching morality.

Not all religion is bad - I found hope, faith and so much community through a church that had nothing to do with my parents and upbringing. I was born Muslim and going through that all my life and then finally finding Christ on the floor of a jail cell was incredibly life-changing and powerful for me. And all he told me was to "Follow Him" which meant following the church that he told his apostles to create, which I did. And the work and outreach that I do now has changed my life forever and gave me a purpose I never thought I could ever have.

I told you earlier in your thread @Have Hope that God loves you and just wants a relationship with you, in whatever way you can. I am happy that you believe again and that you found a book to help you understand more. What is the name of the book? Someone gave me this book: 365 Bible Stories $4.99

It really helped me understand the Bible because it was made for children. It's a simple, comforting way to learn the Bible. I am still reading it and really enjoy learning the Bible this way because it's not too complicated and overwhelming, (like how I view the Bible sometimes).

@LadyShadow, the book I bought is called The World Made Clear: Rooted in Faith. It was $20. That's why I bought it, because I find the Bible to be hard to understand.