feelings of shame with masturbation

Is this weird? Whenever I masturbate, ever since I started it, I always feel dirty and ashamed afterwards. After sex, I never have that problem. From what I understand masturbation is considered normal and what's to be done when H is not home, it's not like I'm going to go out and find a random guy to have sex with and cheat on H. But even nowadays whenever I masturbate, I feel such shame afterwards. Why is that?

Oh, my goodness girl, I am so glad you brought this up. I fight with it so bad. As a matter of fact, I am trying really hard during this month of Lent because of how "unholy" I feel masturbation is. I have been feeling I was dirty after I do it ever since I was doing it when I was young. It was always mixed up with God too like I would be "punished" for doing it. I still feel that punishment today. It's bad.

You're right, society believes it's normal and a healthy form of sexual expression, but I always feel dirty and shameful after I am done. Having sex is no problem though, I never felt dirty after, unless the guy was a creep, and it was meaningless.

But totally get where you're coming from. Great topic!

Yeah, when i was a kid, the nuns were so "no touching" but feelings still happen, as does physical growth - i started my periods at 10 and a half. Anyway, waaay before then i had figured out a "hands-free" method - not sure what spot i was hitting, maybe bearing down on my g-spot? Which wasnt even invented yet, i dont think, not that i would have heard about it! Wish i had those same smarts now. Anyway, i find that the healthier i am, the hornier i am. God just made us that way - i dont know who else to blame.

I didn't start my period until I was 12 but I had figured out masturbation by the time I was in 3rd grade. Of course, on the other hand, I was sexually abused by an uncle when I was in 1st grade so I'm not sure if that plays into it. I just always feel so dirty and shameful even now though I never have felt that way after sex, not even with the loser boyfriends I had before H. I really had hoped those feelings would go away, but they never have. And it's really hard when I'm hypomanic and hypersexual and H works long days with an awfully long commute. I never feel guilty before or while masturbating, but afterwards, I always do. @unaluna You are probably right; who else to blame but God for making us this way? (I am not Catholic so no adversities with nuns but grew up Presbyterian and consider myself Christian though I don't really link my feelings of shame to Christianity.) Sometimes, I wonder if it was how we were raised as girls; my mom never mentioned the subject of masturbation. But on the other hand, my sister had 2 boys and when they were young she'd find them playing around and just told them to go into their room for privacy if they felt the need to do that and I don't know if getting an ok-green light from a parent at a young age like that makes a difference or not.

I dun know. Lots and lots of books do the subliminal message that women should be shamed if they masturbate. I grew up going to church but the subject wasn’t brought up. But tons of books I read had a character being punished or shamed. I think tv too, the way it was alluding to shame and all the laughs on sitcoms. I know for me it’s shame. Even as I used it as a method to reduce pain. Yeah we’re made this way, it’s natural.

This is at best tangentially related, but I thought I'd post it. Yesterday I listened to a Russian podcast on a new channel owned by a woman who is a gynecologist. She talked about masturbation the whole time. When it is good for girls and women and when it is not good.

So, one thing she implored women to do is be safe with vibrators and electric vibrators. In particular, she advised to always check certificates when buying electrical vibrators imported from China. Do not buy cheap, uncertified stuff as it can be very dangerous .

There was a case of combustion when an electric vibrator exploded inside a woman's vagina, shattering her pelvis. She died on the spot. There has only been one such case, but it was a tragic death.

Holy carp!

Outside of this horrific accident, the gynecologist have a really comprehensive overview of the role of masurriin women's health, both hoods and bads. Blueberry, if you care for it I can list her main points.

I'd be interested in her main points...but holy crap about the exploding vibrator!

I will listen again to extract all the points. From my memory, masturbation is especially helpful for teen girls and young women prior to their sexual debut. I could not relate myself because I only discovered masturbation at close to 20, but I know I am unusual. She was talking about girls at 12 and older. Her point was that when a teen body is awash in hormones, masturbation allows certain important connections, responses, and tissue and reflex sensitivity to develop while the hormones at at their peak. Otherwise a woman might delay the sexual debut with a man until much later, and 10-15 years might pass between those first hormones and the sexual debut. A woman will be used to having an unresponsive body. Later on, it will be far harder to establish the connections necessary for the response from the body and orgasmicity than had the woman been engaged in having orgasms all along and known her body prior to starting a regular sexual relationship with a man.

Another time when masturbation is helpful is in menopause. Blood flow to the pelvis, release, build-uo and relaxation are important. And it is true that the body does not waste resources, she said, so if you do not use something, you lose that function.

She claimed masturbation is OK as an adjunct to partner sex, but that release and body responsiveness in part er sex are superior.

She warned against stimulation that is too strong. A hot stream of water that is too strong, a vibrator that acts on the clitoris directly - those things were bad in her opinion, as they jeopardized a woman's responsiveness when she is with the man.

Does it mean something in particular when you discover masturbation young? I think I started it when I was in 2nd grade. However, I was sexually abused by an uncle at least once, maybe twice when I was around 5 yr. old.

She did not talk about abuse at all. She just said that masturbation when young prepares a girl, then woman well for partner sex in later life

Maybe the abuse in the past is partly to cause for the shame? I just don't know. I did develop earlier than other girls in my class physically as well.

I think it can be both. Likely, both.

I have posted on our weight loss and exercise thread - Oura ring fitness tracker thought that my 38 minute masturbation session was an elliptical workout that burned about 100 cals and averaged HR=92. Hopefully, this will reduce your feelings of shame. It is healthy for you!